Most of us know what it feels like when we establish and hold a healthy boundary. When we don’t loan money to friend/family that hasn’t repaid the $200 they ‘borrowed’ two years ago, when we don’t bail someone out of yet one more drama-filled scenario that sounds remarkably like the three previous scenarios, or when we choose to say ‘no’ to an invite if for no other reason other than we don’t want to go.
Knowing what these healthy boundaries feel like, why would we choose any other path? The biggest key factor can be manipulation. Ours or theirs. Manipulation can start out feeling like an emotional power struggle. It can seem like ‘right’ fighting which leaves one or both parties in a position of losing. Getting caught up in ‘ego battles’ can even lead us to be the bully in a situation. Bullies use manipulation, guilt and jealousy to control their environment and the people in it. This is because bullies are scared inside.
Often we have old patterns that were gifted to us (i.e. nice girls say yes, good boys don’t push) and as we grow up and the bullies are more practiced at their craft, we can succumb to their manipulations just for the sake of peace in our lives.
How to create healthier boundaries? First, be more aware of the choices you are making in your life. Practice consciousness in learning what you want to create in your life, what you want for others and what you want in your relationships. Often our desire to keep the peace can be used against us by the bully to allow them to feel powerful. When you are truly powerful, you do not have to dominate or control anyone (this is coming from fear). Do what feels right for you. Raise the bar of behavior in relationships. Do not tolerate disrespect or abuse. Walk away. Love yourself more than the need to be in a relationship. Walk in authentic power that comes from a place of love.
Energy Healing Techniques can assist you in clearing out the closet of what no longer serves you, sharpening your focus and resolving old stuck thinking that recreates ‘same stuff, different day’ over and over. Clear your stress, reawake your natural REM sleep process (with RET) and live the life you desire. This drug-free modality will assist you in your journey safely, quickly and naturally. Processing your fear, pain and guilt will give you a fresh start.
In working with Energy Healing Techniques, I have learned that none of us are broken and none of us needs to be fixed. I believe that we try to make the best choices in our lives based on the information we have available to us in the moment. We make what appears to be the “best” choice and then a moment later, seeing the results, we have more feedback information to use that may help us to make a different choice. Simply, when we are overloaded with stress, we don’t/can’t/won’t make good choices. Stress throws us into the modality of fear. When we choose from a place of fear, fearful outcomes result each and every time.
Claudia Bianca, MRET is a Master Rapid Eye Therapist in Energy Healing Techniques sharing more than twenty three years of private practice. She is located in beautiful Taos, New Mexico offering private individual sessions, Immersion programs, workshops, and Reiki Attunements. Please feel free to leave a comment below and thank you.