On Valentine’s Day most are thinking of cards, flowers and chocolate.  Let’s go to a different place this year.   Why would we (humans) have love as one of our experiences in this life?   Just to make us feel good?  Just to make others feel good?  Yes to both of those and yet, there is more.  Love is the ultimate power – we all just want to love and be loved.  It can change just about anything including the colors and brightness that we perceive on any given day. 

When we have a power and don’t consciously acknowledge or use it, we might as well not have it.  Kind of like those tools tucked so far in a drawer they are never in our view, or a blouse with the tags still on it that just doesn’t feel quite right when we put it on.   Love can move mountains, engage people and stop wars.

As we go through life, we stumble upon the need for resolution again and again.  This can be at work, in a personal relationship, with family or friends, or even at the grocery store in the check out line.  Our energy as human beings is so strong that when we are not giving or receiving love, others feel it, taste it, sense it and know it.  So, as we stand around the water cooler at work not liking Linda, she feels it.  She may not be conscious of it – yet it directs her responses and comfort level as surely as if we’d said “I don’t care what you have to say in meetings.  In fact, I wish you’d just not say anything so we can get out of the meeting quicker.”  That feeling of dismissal is just as palpable as if it were stated out loud.  Now take this into personal relationships and marriages…we may not be saying it out loud, yet our partner withdraws, sulks, or lashes out in anger in response to our energy of judging and comparing.   True accountability and responsibility asks us to look at our own energy and be personally responsible for that.   We cannot see something in someone else that we don’t also see in ourselves.  Since we can’t change others, our work is clear.  Work on ourselves and it will smooth our journey.

How do we come to resolution when the walls seem huge, the gap is growing and the communication is non-existent?  Love is the answer.  Take your ultimate power and find a way to re-love the event, person or experience and it will shift.  If you experience anger or withdraw when faced with the need for resolution, book a Rapid Eye session to let go of the emotional charge.   Once free of the ‘hook’, you will be able to move around the incident and perceive it from a different place and create the opening for resolution.

Rapid Eye Technology (RET) is a safe, natural way to release stress and trauma leaving us empowered to live a happier, more productive life without reliving the trauma.  RET gently simulates REM sleep, the body’s own natural discharge.  Accessing the whole mind/body system while awake, allows you to be in control of your journey and in a powerful position to create your new reality.  With new skills, ideas and experiences, you are less likely to repeat the “do what you’ve always done, get what you’ve always gotten” pattern of stuck in your life.  Identify and release nonproductive beliefs, negative thought forms, and emotions—all of which contribute to emotional stress.  RET is a release and reframe technology unique in its approach and amazing in its results.  

Clients report:

  • immediate benefits
  • a new perspective on life 
  • feeling relaxed, yet energized
  • self empowerment
  • permanently change your life

Visit  to download a free Life Skills Workbook.

Claudia Bianca, MRET is a Master Rapid Eye Therapist/RET Trainer sharing twenty-three years of experience with Rapid Eye Technology.  She is located in Taos, New Mexico.


LOVE is the ANSWER — 2 Comments

  1. Joseph…
    Interesting discussion you bring up.
    I look at love (more of a verb) as that ultimate power that we all have to affect our environment – a gift in being human – that essence that gives us joy in the little things and awe at the big.
    I have an equal amount to you (no more, no less) and yet, I may have more of an awareness of this power. So, if I choose to use this LOVE in a conscious and awake and aware manner – I can create and shift ‘challenges’ in my life to the plus (feel good) column. These challenges when I am less awake and aware seem all consuming and daunting.
    So often in life we fall into the victim mentality and feel that life is done to us. Yet, we are the ones with our hands on the steering wheel of our lives. Using RET and Life Skills has taught me and my clients that there is nothing random about being here, who shows up for us, the challenges and blessings that come and go….they are all part of an attraction process. That is why when we feel angry, we attract angry energy. When we live our lives unconsciously, we attract unrecognizable events and people to us. The more awake and aware we are the more we can put our intention out and watch it manifest into a life we desire and deserve.
    I wonder if your Grandson was being literal when he said “I Love you Grandpa” and YES…. some of the reason he loves you is because you took him to the store and that felt like love. When you took him to the store, you put him first and he was acknowleging that – you focused your intent and attention on him which made him light up in recognition of that energy and it felt like LOVE (Namaste).
    I know for me…. when I withhold love from myself or others I feel less than who I know I can be, less potential, grumpy, ….. I could go on and on.
    So, LOVE is the answer for all of us…when I say or do something loving to myself or others (like drop my stuff and take them to the store), I create chemicals in my brain that give me more of a good feeling than the recipient. I kinda like that!!
    Thanks, Claudia

  2. Hi Claudia,

    Nice sentiment. And…

    Love (verb) – 1) a poorly or undefined term used to control others; 2) often confused with want or desire. Ex: “I love you” and “I just love banana bread…”

    Love (noun) – 1) a poorly or undefined term often used to manipulate and control others; 2) a meaningless romantic term often used in an attempt to fulfill desires. Ex: “Love is all we need” and “You are the love of my life.”

    It occurs to me that the word “love” has been so distorted and over/abused that it literally has no useful meaning. For example, when my grandson told me the other day “I love you, grandpa” – what he really meant was, “thanks for taking me with you to the store… I had fun!” (appreciation for an action based on feelings of affection). I wonder what would happen if instead of simply saying, “I love you,” we were to open up and express how we are truly feeling. What a concept!

    Lovers who fail to define their “love” for each other run a serious risk of not being lovers for long – because they each have differing definitions for “love.” For example, when she says, “I love you” – he might hear, “you’ve been a good boy today…” (like when his mother would tell him that after he did some chore for her) or, “It’s okay for me to hurt you if I say this to you afterward…” When he says, “I love you” – she might hear, “you’re acceptable to me at this instant in time – expect that to change when I find someone I like better…” or “I’ve found someone else, so worry yourself about it…” or “I need sex from you…” blah, blah, blah… In both cases, “I love you” probably means, “I’m feeling insecure with you – I need something from you – I want to control you…”

    I particularly like the “I love you” – “I love you, too” bit. OMG! Insecurity Central!

    Personally, I don’t like to hear the word “love” without an accompanying meaningful definition and discussion. Even so, some people’s socio-economic weapon of choice is “love” – so, I think I’d prefer to see us just stop using the word altogether for now – until we learn how to use it properly – which I’m not fully convinced we are capable of doing (you can teach a dog physics, but I doubt he’ll understand what you teach him).

    Considering we can’t comprehend the meaning of “unconditional love” – often attributing it to our gods who bless some while cursing others – we’ve got a ways to go before we can realistically and with meaning apply the reverential term, “love”.

    I hope we’ll practice affection, appreciation, and respect with one another. Perhaps if we were to view each human as the unique creature each of us is – realizing that in all the universe, there is ONLY ONE of each of us – that that high level of uniqueness might change the way we view ourselves and others.

    Perhaps, “I value you because…” may have more meaning than “I love you.” “I prefer [some item or behavior you like very much] because…” rather than “I love [some item or behavior you like very much].”

    I think it’s definitely time to stop abusing the word and start communicating our feelings in a respectful manner (meaning we start with an underlying and overarching high value for each other and separate the value of our personhood from the behaviors we exhibit).

    Rapid Eye Technology and its accompanying Skills for Life are a good starting point, in my opinion. There is SO much more…


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